By Priscilla Mukokobi | 7 May 2021

BERNARD Namayonga (50), a polygamist in the Zambezi region, says he has found the perfect formula for keeping his two wives happy, despite them sharing a husband.

Namayonga married his first wife at the age of 25, and 15 years later married his second wife.

This means he has been in a polygamous marriage for the past 10 years.

Namayonga says he is dedicated and committed to both wives and they are a happy family despite challenges.

“Having two or more wives is not easy – to handle them you have to have a heart. For instance, if I give them both N$100, one would use it wisely, and the other one would not. She would waste it and start complaining. That is how you would know who has a problem and who does not,” he says.

He says he has learnt to live with the challenges that come with a polygamous marriage, adding he had to formally ask his first wife for permission before taking his second wife.

“Even though it was a hard decision to build two homes, I had no choice, because it inspired me,” he says.

Namayonga says he has made peace with constantly mediating between his wives due to petty fights, unnecessary competition and jealousy.

“The wives seem to be competing, and they are jealous of each other for no reason, as they are getting the same love, affection and attention,” he says.

Photo: The Namibian

A recent survey by The Namibian shows that polygamy is a common practice in the Zambezi region.

Men in this region believe they can have more than four wives under one roof, as long as they look after them.

This is despite traditional leaders and community members speaking out strongly against polygamy, forced marriages, widow inheritance, widow cleansing, dry sex and the high price of lobola.

They say these practices violate women’s rights to be in charge of their own bodies and lives, thereby fuelling the prevalence of HIV-AIDS in the region.

So widespread is the practice that it is also said to be encouraging forced marriages, which involves young girls being married off at a tender age.

Albius Kamwi, one of the Masubia traditional leaders, says such marriages are not appropiate today, but long ago marrying two or more wives was respected.

“Some people marry more than one wife, because their partner cannot have children, but they love her. They therefore have no choice but to marry another woman who can give them children,” he says.

“Having many children is a blessing, because they replace those we lost. We name the children after those who passed on to show that even if they are gone, we do not forget them,” he says.

Kamwi says times have changed though, and today it is not necessary to have many children any more.

Children’s education, medical needs, clothes and food have become too expensive, he says.

“I do not see the need to have more than two wives,” he says.

‘NOT EASY’

Albertina Kawayo has been in a polygamous marriage for most of her life and says it has not been easy, but she has learnt to adapt.

“I’m not against polygamy, but being in this marriage is not easy at all.You will start sinning if you are not careful. In this marriage there are too many fights, competition, and jealousy, and you can find yourself poisoning your husband, because sometimes they come with bad manners. You tell them, but they don’t change,” she says.

Kawayo had no choice when her now late husband one day told her that he wanted to bring another wife into their home. Kawayo further explained that the family has grown and has 13 kids in total, which has made their bond very strong.

Shaun Whittaker, a Windhoek psychologist, says polygmous marriages are a burden to men and their spouses.

The man is burdened with the heavy responsibility of sustaining a big family, which sometimes can be very depressing.

And the wives are deprived psychologically.

This leads to child negligence, as children do not receive the same amount of love and attention, and are less supported.

“I don’t really support polygamy, because it is better to choose happiness where you are loved and respected,” Whittaker says.

He says men have favourites and there is too much competition in this type of marriage.

Whittaker says if a man wants to take in another woman his spouse must file for divorce, because women and children go through a lot.

They may not show it, but it is to their detriment mentally, emotionally and financially.

In some cases women are abused and the children could resort to drugs, alcohol, and theft.

“Woman are strong and brave, therefore they should stop torturing themselves settling for less. Why would a man take in another woman if he truly loves you? If your husband wants to marry another woman, ask him for a divorce ,” he says.

“My advice to women is to stop settling for less. You are better than that. If there’s no love in your relationship, take your children, comfort them and support them, because no one is going to love them the same way you do.”

* This story was produced with the assistance of the Google Grant.

RELATED ARTICLESMORE FROM AUTHOR

819 COMMENTS

  185. PSL88 Registration in Pakistan – Register with PSL88 using your phone number ⚽️ PSL88 Sign Up ✓ Create an account, get a sign-up bonus, and win – PSL88.co. PSL88.co is not a bookmaker but an independent website offering research-based reviews, news, and information on top bookmakers. At PSL88.co, we do not have any ownership or affiliation with any of the bookmakers listed on our site. We only provide guides and information on cricket betting sites and their services. Another Website: PSL88 PSL88.cc

  193. Easily, the post is really the greatest on this laudable topic. I concur with your conclusions and will thirstily look forward to your future updates. Saying thank will not just be sufficient, for the wonderful c lucidity in your writing. I will instantly grab your rss feed to stay privy of any updates. Solid work and much success in your business enterprise!

  271. mexican pharmaceuticals online [url=https://cmqpharma.online/#]mexican online pharmacy[/url] mexico drug stores pharmacies

  273. mexico pharmacy [url=http://cmqpharma.com/#]cmq pharma[/url] buying from online mexican pharmacy

  288. May I just say what a comfort to uncover somebody that actually knows what they’re talking about online. You definitely understand how to bring a problem to light and make it important. More people really need to look at this and understand this side of your story. I was surprised you are not more popular since you most certainly have the gift.

  293. I’m impressed, I must say. Seldom do I come across a blog that’s both educative and amusing, and let me tell you, you have hit the nail on the head. The issue is an issue that not enough men and women are speaking intelligently about. Now i’m very happy that I found this in my hunt for something relating to this.

  297. I blog often and I truly thank you for your content. The article has really peaked my interest. I will take a note of your website and keep checking for new details about once a week. I subscribed to your Feed too.

  309. Easily, the post is really the greatest on this laudable topic. I concur with your conclusions and will thirstily look forward to your future updates. Saying thank will not just be sufficient, for the wonderful c lucidity in your writing. I will instantly grab your rss feed to stay privy of any updates. Solid work and much success in your business enterprise!

  311. Great blog here! Additionally your website rather a lot up very fast! What host are you the usage of? Can I get your associate link for your host? I desire my website loaded up as fast as yours lol

  320. Beneficial Blog! I had been simply just debating that there are plenty of screwy results at this issue you now purely replaced my personal belief. Thank you an excellent write-up.

  331. Howdy! I could have sworn I’ve visited this site before but after going through many of the posts I realized it’s new to me. Regardless, I’m certainly happy I found it and I’ll be bookmarking it and checking back frequently!

  332. ELIVERA was established in 1988. © ELIVERA LTD was established in 2007. The first project was in 1988. It was carried out in trade with Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, Belgium, Hungary, Poland, Lithuania, Latvia and Estonia.

  337. Good post. I learn something new and challenging on websites I stumbleupon every day. It will always be interesting to read through content from other authors and practice a little something from their websites.

  340. I seriously love your website.. Great colors & theme. Did you develop this web site yourself? Please reply back as I’m planning to create my own website and want to learn where you got this from or what the theme is called. Thanks.

  342. Hiya, I am really glad I have found this information. Nowadays bloggers publish only about gossip and net stuff and this is actually frustrating.

  377. The post is absolutely fantastic! Lots of great info and inspiration, both of which we all need! Also like to admire the time and effort you put into your website and detailed info you offer! I will bookmark your website!

  378. I do not even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good. I do not know who you are but certainly you are going to a famous blogger if you are not already 😉 Cheers!

  393. Hello there! I just would like to give you a big thumbs up for the excellent info you have got right here on this post. I’ll be coming back to your site for more soon.

  406. I truly love your website.. Excellent colors & theme. Did you create this website yourself? Please reply back as I’m planning to create my own website and would like to find out where you got this from or just what the theme is named. Thank you.

  428. Is there a correlation between the structure of polygamous marriages and the prevalence of fights, competition, jealousy, and even potential violence within the household? Can the dynamics of polygamy lead to harmful behaviors and actions among spouses?

  475. Great blog here! Also your site loads up very fast! What web host are you using? Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my website loaded up as fast as yours lol

  491. I needed to thank you for this good read!! I certainly enjoyed every little bit of it. I’ve got you bookmarked to check out new stuff you post…

  529. Thank you, I have just been searching for information about this topic for ages and yours is the greatest I’ve discovered till now. But, what about the conclusion? Are you sure about the source?

  532. After exploring a number of the blog posts on your blog, I truly appreciate your technique of blogging. I book-marked it to my bookmark webpage list and will be checking back in the near future. Please check out my website too and let me know how you feel.

  537. Link pyramid, tier 1, tier 2, tier 3
    Level 1 – 500 links with inclusion embedded in writings on publishing domains

    Middle – 3000 web address Rerouted references

    Tier 3 – 20000 connections combination, comments, articles

    Implementing a link hierarchy is useful for indexing systems.

    Demand:

    One reference to the platform.

    Search Terms.

    True when 1 query term from the page subject.

    Observe the supplementary offering!

    Vital! First-level hyperlinks do not conflict with Tier 2 and Tier 3-tier connections

    A link hierarchy is a tool for increasing the flow and referral sources of a digital property or virtual network

  541. Hi, I do think this is an excellent web site. I stumbledupon it 😉 I will revisit yet again since I book-marked it. Money and freedom is the greatest way to change, may you be rich and continue to help other people.

  544. I wanted to check up and let you know how, a great deal I cherished discovering your blog today. I might consider it an honor to work at my office and be able to utilize the tips provided on your blog and also be a part of visitors’ reviews like this. Should a position associated with guest writer become on offer at your end, make sure you let me know.

  559. The next time I read a blog, I hope that it does not disappoint me as much as this particular one. I mean, Yes, it was my choice to read through, but I really believed you’d have something interesting to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about something that you can fix if you weren’t too busy seeking attention.

  566. Howdy! This post couldn’t be written much better! Looking through this post reminds me of my previous roommate! He always kept talking about this. I am going to send this post to him. Fairly certain he’s going to have a great read. Many thanks for sharing!

  573. I was extremely pleased to find this page. I wanted to thank you for ones time for this particularly fantastic read!! I definitely really liked every little bit of it and i also have you book-marked to look at new stuff in your web site.

  579. May I simply just say what a comfort to discover someone who genuinely knows what they’re discussing on the internet. You actually realize how to bring an issue to light and make it important. A lot more people must check this out and understand this side of the story. I was surprised you’re not more popular given that you surely possess the gift.

  589. Hi, I do think your website may be having browser compatibility problems. When I take a look at your blog in Safari, it looks fine however when opening in Internet Explorer, it’s got some overlapping issues. I simply wanted to provide you with a quick heads up! Apart from that, great site.

  599. Howdy! I could have sworn I’ve been to this website before but after looking at a few of the posts I realized it’s new to me. Nonetheless, I’m certainly delighted I came across it and I’ll be bookmarking it and checking back often.

  602. I was reading through some of your content on this internet site and I believe this web site is very informative ! Continue posting .

  611. I blog frequently and I really thank you for your information. This article has really peaked my interest. I’m going to bookmark your blog and keep checking for new information about once per week. I opted in for your RSS feed as well.

  616. Wichtige Mitteilung Enter the username or e-mail you used in your profile. A password reset link will be sent to you by email. vegas world casino games online gambling for real money usa casinos no deposit free welcome bonus foxwoods casino online | onlinecasinousa.us.org – las vegas casinos free slots onlinecasinousa.us.org – free casino slots games Virtuaalitodellisuuskonsoleja käytetään nyt aktiivisesti sekä live- että online-kolikkopeleissä. Nopean kehityksen virtuaalitodellisuuskuulokkeet, pelaaja voi todella tuntea olevansa seisova live-kasinon sisällä. Virtuaalitodellisuus tutkitaan, jotta pelaajat voivat osallistua virtuaalilajeihin, pokeriin ja virtuaalisiin arpajaisiin lähitulevaisuudessa.
    https://forum.melanoma.org/user/viepadrarot1986/profile/
    Koska käsittelemme nimenomaan suomenkielisiä nettikasinoita, on asioita arvioitu erityisesti suomalaisen pelaajan näkökulmasta. Nykypäivän nettikasinoiden loputtomasta tulvasta voi olla hankala omin päin löytää sopivimmat peliapajat. Nettikasinoita on joka junaan ja huomioon otettavia tekijöitä enemmän kuin laki sallii. Siksi olenkin ottanut tehtäväkseni helpottaa sinun taakkaasi ja suodattaa valtavasta valikoimasta parhaat nettikasinot, jotka ovat 100% luotettavia ja suomalaisille pelaajille soveltuvia.

  620. You made some decent points there. I checked on the internet for additional information about the issue and found most individuals will go along with your views on this site.

  622. Pretty nice post. I just stumbled upon your weblog and wanted to say that I’ve really enjoyed surfing around your blog posts. After all I’ll be subscribing in your feed and I am hoping you write again very soon!

  625. Gamble Responsibly. Gambling Therapy. 18+ Regarding which candidate would be better for markets, Boltansky says, “There’s a reason that 60-plus percent of Americans don’t want either candidate. But when we peel back some of the layers, we understand the nuanced differences in their policies that can then help you make an investment decision.” Are you an expert in soccer betting? Join SoccerPunter Tipsters competition to challenge against the top football tipsters and win prizes! Livecore.cz – website for soccer fans! Here you can find games that are being played today, as well as all major league game scores from around the world! 1 hour 30 mins to kick: Portugal playmaker Dolores Silva, who is the key individual for the U.S. to stop if they wish to keep the Europeans out of the net, is taking the World Cup head on, but remembers to appreciate how important this experience is for her country no matter the result.
    http://users.atw.hu/nlw/profile.php?mode=viewprofile&u=18614
    Chelsea close in on £51m summer deal after ‘next Messi’ passes medical The Premier League has committed to giving supporters a minimum of six weeks’ notice (from the first match in the relevant month) on broadcast selections until December, and five weeks from January until Match Round 37. The Premier League will not be publicly announcing the release dates for each broadcast cycle. Skip to content Sadly I have learnt that this pub too is in jeopardy and likely to be consigned to the dustbin of history – a victim of the property developer’s huge monetary offer, an offer that no Landlord or brewery could resist. The Pelican, a pub that I have also enjoyed in recent years has gone the same way, and there are many many others. Sign up for a new account in our community. It’s easy!

  647. I concur with your conclusions and will eagerly look forward to your future updates. The usefulness and significance is overwhelming and has been invaluable to me!

  660. Champawat, a serene town nestled in the Kumaon region, is a hidden gem known for its historical significance and natural beauty. It offers a peaceful escape for travelers seeking tranquility and a connection with nature.

    While exploring Champawat, don’t miss the chance to visit places to visit near Lohawati River. These nearby attractions provide a perfect blend of scenic landscapes and cultural heritage, making Champawat a must-visit destination in Uttarakhand.

  664. I favored your idea there, I tell you blogs are so helpful sometimes like looking into people’s private life’s and work.At times this world has too much information to grasp. Every new comment wonderful in its own right.

  669. I’m amazed, I must say. Seldom do I encounter a blog that’s both equally educative and engaging, and let me tell you, you’ve hit the nail on the head. The issue is something that not enough folks are speaking intelligently about. Now i’m very happy I came across this in my search for something regarding this.

  675. I’m amazed, I have to admit. Rarely do I come across a blog that’s both educative and amusing, and without a doubt, you’ve hit the nail on the head. The problem is an issue that too few people are speaking intelligently about. Now i’m very happy that I came across this during my hunt for something relating to this.

  691. Hi, I do believe this is a great website. I stumbledupon it 😉 I will revisit yet again since I book-marked it. Money and freedom is the best way to change, may you be rich and continue to help other people.

  700. I encountered your site after doing a search for new contesting using Google, and decided to stick around and read more of your articles. Thanks for posting, I have your site bookmarked now.

  701. Hey very cool site!! Man .. Beautiful .. Amazing .. I will bookmark your website and take the feeds also…I’m happy to find so many useful information here in the post, we need develop more strategies in this regard, thanks for sharing. . . . . .

  719. Hello there! I could have sworn I’ve visited this blog before but after looking at a few of the posts I realized it’s new to me. Nonetheless, I’m definitely happy I discovered it and I’ll be book-marking it and checking back often!

  726. I wrote down your blog in my bookmark. I hope that it somehow did not fall and continues to be a great place for reading texts.

  732. Surprisingly good post. I really found your primary webpage and additionally wanted to suggest that have essentially enjoyed searching your website blog posts. Whatever the case I’ll always be subscribing to your entire supply and I hope you jot down ever again soon!

  737. The post is absolutely fantastic! Lots of great info and inspiration, both of which we all need! Also like to admire the time and effort you put into your website and detailed info you offer! I will bookmark your website!

  738. I know this is not exactly on topic, but i have a blog using the blogengine platform as well and i’m having issues with my comments displaying. is there a setting i am forgetting? maybe you could help me out? thank you.

  740. I wanted to check up and let you know how, a great deal I cherished discovering your blog today. I might consider it an honor to work at my office and be able to utilize the tips provided on your blog and also be a part of visitors’ reviews like this. Should a position associated with guest writer become on offer at your end, make sure you let me know.

  751. I’ve been surfing online more than 3 hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It’s pretty worth enough for me. In my view, if all web owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the net will be much more useful than ever before.

  757. I discovered your weblog site on google and verify just a few of your early posts. Proceed to maintain up the very good operate. I simply further up your RSS feed to my MSN News Reader.

  787. Take some time to immerse yourself in two of Yayoi Kusama’s Infinity Mirror Rooms Liverpool, NY 13088 Florida’s Matthew Tkachuk got 14 penalty minutes during a third-period scrum. He hit Vegas’ Nicolas Hague, who was being held by Marc Staal. Newcastle are one of the wealthiest clubs in the world and they do not need the money. It remains to be seen how Liverpool convince the Magpies to sell their prized prospect during the summer transfer window. During that stretch, City will host Chelsea at the Etihad on the 15th, after which it will probably be clear whether things have gotten very interesting, or if City have one hand firmly on the league trophy. The best thing Liverpool can do is to chip away at each game, and just hope the chips fall their way. Let’s start by doing better on Sunday.
    https://wiki-view.win/index.php?title=West_ham_united_transfer_rumours
    Alongside the injuries, there might be a mentality issue. If that’s true, it’s hardly stinging criticism: these players had not competed in a title race together and they were facing a Premier League behemoth in City. More frustrating was the manner in which complacency seemed to creep in ill-advisedly. Letting one two-goal lead slip (at Liverpool) is careless, but to do it again the next week (against West Ham at home) was unacceptable. The subsequent 3-3 draw with Southampton, the moment when the title dream seemed to die, was a microcosm of their season: Arsenal conceded more home goals than Forest and West Ham. Bet responsibly Tuesday, 6th June 2023 See today’s front and back pages, download the newspaper, order back issues and use the historic Daily Express newspaper archive.

  790. I have to say this post was certainly informative and contains useful content for enthusiastic visitors. I will definitely bookmark this website for future reference and further viewing. cheers a bunch for sharing this with us!

  810. Профессиональный сервисный центр по ремонту бытовой техники с выездом на дом.
    Мы предлагаем: сервисные центры по ремонту техники в москве
    Наши мастера оперативно устранят неисправности вашего устройства в сервисе или с выездом на дом!

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here